Overwatering Your Life

What if the problem isn’t that you’re not doing enough… but that you’re doing too much?

In this episode, we’re digging into the concept of overwatering and not just in your garden. We’re talking about the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we drown the very things we’re trying to grow. From smothering our kids with love that turns into control, to overfunctioning in our careers, relationships, and daily lives, we’re asking the question: where has nurturing turned into root rot?

This isn’t your typical gardening chat, it’s a real-life check-in. The kind where you gently pull yourself up by the roots, shake off the excess, and take an honest look at what actually needs tending and what needs space.

We also take a hilarious walk down memory lane, revisiting the almost-names of the podcast (you’ll be very glad we landed where we did), and Krystyn opens up about her book and the garden she’s intentionally choosing to water in this season.

If you’ve been gripping a little too tightly, trying to force blooms that aren’t ready, or pouring energy into places that just feel… soggy, this one’s for you.

Let’s loosen the grip, trust the timing, and find that sweet, life-giving balance together. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:22

On today's episode of Two Mystic Mamas, we're talking about overwatering. Overwatering life.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Yeah. Yourself. I mean, sometimes I think the most spiritual thing that you can do is stop overwatering something and just let it grow. I mean, there's two ways to kill a plant.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

You either don't water it or you water it too much. Right. 100%. So, like, just apply that to your life.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

I actually have some like real world metaphors laid out for us.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Yeah. Should we do we should welcome it? We should welcome.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

We kind of did a fake fake out. We faked you out.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

This is official.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Welcome to two mystic mamas. I will say that's my like only real gripe with doing virtual recordings, is like our two mystic mamas are it's never in sync. It's almost like you should do it, and then I should do it. Or whatever, you know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

And then have her sync it up.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Yeah. Blend it. Like Charles in charge.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

We've talked a lot about gardens in our episodes. We've talked about tending to your own garden. We have talked about physically gardening. We've talked about witchy gardens. We've spent a lot of time in our physical and metaphysical gardens here. And this is something that I think we all do in some area of our lives that it's just smothering. Like we're just smothering something and you're killing it. This is different than smothering your husband with a pillow who also will kill him, but don't recommend.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

For those of you who are just joining us, for those of you who are homicidal maniacs and want to kill your husband. Two, well, technically three names on the table for the podcast before we settled on two mystic mamas. The first one was the womb room.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

The womb room. Which just watch funny. Watch us get picked up by a network, and Charlie's like, let me just pitch this to you guys real quick. The womb room. And they're like, yes, absolutely. And we're gonna rebrand the womb room.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

The weom. The womb room. The weom womb. No. And the other one was it's illegal to murder.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

It's illegal to murder. I wanted to name it, it's illegal to murder your husband. But then it didn't fit the context of what we were talking about. We definitely would have been more of a it was just a thinly veiled threat.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Plus, it's comical.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

But I am writing a book. It's illegal to murder your husband, so it's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Number one bestseller on the New York Times list, putting it out there now. Like it. Let's fucking go. I mean, reading what you write is one of my most enjoyable activities to do when we're editing. Like your emails, and then I'm like, hi, chat GBT. I'm gonna put my thoughts into it and then make it sound good. Okay, so overwatering areas in your life is when you try to force growth, like you're not paying attention to the details. And sometimes you can do these by accident. It's not necessarily intentional.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

It could be even paying too much attention to the details as well, right? Like it's when nurturing becomes drowning.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

Yes, right. These are examples of what this is. When you are constantly working, you're constantly healing, you're constantly fixing yourself, you're overanalyzing relationships, you're pushing productivity, you're trying to control outcomes. So it's kind of, you know, giving just like, where do you find balance? Like even, and I know I go back to like the scales, but I think sometimes that that's just a really good visualization of how you can think about these in your own life, right? Like not projecting like, because clearly what is out of balance for us isn't going to be the same thing that's out of balance for our listeners. But I do feel like, you know, you hear these terms like burnout and stressed out, and you've done something for so long, it's become part of your routine, and then you don't know how to not do it anymore.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Well, there's people that do this too when it comes to checking in on their family members, like text messages of their kids or their partners, or like imagine pulling a card, a tarot card, every 10 minutes for the same thing. Oh God. Right? Yeah. Like it's just this constant searching and grabbing and grasping for control over something that you can't control.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

No. I did a reading on Thursday for a woman, and this is the second time I've done a reading for her, but I said every six weeks, you know, and I think that's a good place for most if you do do readings of any sort. Like six weeks is a good place to have clients come back and revisit, especially if it's the same question, but there's there's work that work that shows up that needs to, that needs to be addressed, needs to be figured out. And so we're not fortune tellers, we're not telling you the future, we're not predicting anything. It's just like a guided next steps as to like what your spirit team is telling you.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

What you already know exists within you.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Oh, yeah. Right. It was so funny what with her and her reading because she was like, I know, I know.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

And I was like, Okay, well, well, I it it does doth seem thus not listening.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

Yes. And she had three major arcanas pull in her reading, too. So I was like, girl, you got some work, you got some paths coming up that you're gonna, you're gonna have to make some decisions here. And she's like, I know. And I love these types of clients that interact with you again, because like I use people's names, but I'm not gonna guess what your loved one is that passed away. Like, I'm just gonna ask you, right? Like, again, I'm not I'm not a medium, I'm not a psychic, I'm not gonna sit here and try to like pull facts. I want to channel those people, so I'm gonna address them by name and you're gonna tell me what their names are. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, so but she was great, it was really good.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

So all right, so when you give a plant too much water, this is the same as giving too much effort into something that you're doing, right? So, I mean, have you ever overwatered a plant?

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Um, yes, and what happened? Oh, they die, yeah. They just they just they just it they get choked out and get choked out, they turn yellow, it's and then they stink. So stinky because there's like bacteria and mold and all the things.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Yeah, it's funny because we have these two. I'd be shocked if you over watered plants. I have really I have, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Because sometimes I feel like your plants this guy is struggling.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

He keeps like sucking. I don't know, it's just been this winter that all of a sudden the the heat, the dry heat. He was always over there. This is the first winter he's been moved, and last winter he was fine over there. He does not like it over here for whatever reason. Must have been too drastic. And I like really made sure he was saturated before I left town. Yeah. So plants are fickle. They are. Well, we have two money plants that we had gotten years ago, and I had never had a money plant. I didn't know how to take care of a money plant, and I was overwatering the money plant. And the money plant started to get root rot and die. And I was like, this is certainly a fucking metaphor, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 8:31

I know. When your plants give you the truth that you know in the moment, you're like, no.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Well, right, and root rot is like burnout, right? So that's what happens. You water it too much, and now you've given too much effort, and now you have created burnout, which we can all attest to in some form of our life.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Yes. I've been overwatering my spirituality.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Okay, that's my next thing is like if you don't have enough oxygen, there's no space to breathe. There's no space for intuition. No, there's no space, like art needs space. Yep. Art needs space to breathe. Yep. And it's the same thing with your metaphysical gifts. If you are constantly inundating them, you're not giving them space to even allow your team of light to come in with nuggets of wisdom because they're so busy answering requests all the time.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Right. This word keeps coming up for me when I was thinking about this episode, but even now it's the word integrate. And integrating and having integration is like combining two things into one and giving them space and time to come together too by themselves, right? So I find a lot of times if I learn something new, giving it time to integrate is really important. Like I wouldn't recommend doing five meditations in a day, right? Do a meditation. And if you're drawn to doing another one for whatever reason, fine. But like you don't need to do all of the things. And I feel this is where there's that balance of like social media can be great for information and it can be great for examples of how to do things. And also it can be overwhelming. Like you can overwater yourself with social media doom scrolling all of the stuff.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

And the same with AI. If you're constantly plugging in the AI, like, what do I do with my life? And you're not actually doing anything with your life and taking next steps. Yep. You're just flooding, flooding and flooding and flooding with more information.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

So let's just take a quick pause while you guys are listening to this. Think about where you are overwatering or underwatering.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Yeah, I have a three-plant test for people. Okay. That will be this, right? So I want you to think of three plants in your life. And this is just a quick gut check. The first plant, what are you overwatering? The second plant, what are you underwatering? And the third is something that's actually growing perfectly for you, and you just keep messing with it. That's like candles.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

You ever have a candle? Did you ever go through a phase where you just kept fucking with candles because of the wax?

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Uh yeah, when I was a teenager. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yeah. It's kind of like that. Like it just let it, just let it burn. Right. Don't touch it. Yeah. Stop touching it. Stop stop doing finger molds. Right. No one cares. Emily. I come home, I'm like, stop touching my candles. I didn't touch it.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Do you remember in the 90s it was a thing to get your boobs and your penis like cast in wax? I know. I specifically remember on the boardwalk in Ocean City. This is like around my like interior.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

A beach thing.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Right. And there was a guy that had what like a waxing station, which most people go and they like stick their hand in and they get like paraffin wax? Yeah. And they get a wax mold of their hand. It had to be some derivative of paraffin wax because it didn't peel off. It like got hard and then you had a sculpture of your hand. Okay. But I knew one person that got her boobs done, and then a a guy that she met down there had gotten his penis done.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

That sounds terrible. Yeah. What do you do with it then? Put it on your mantle? Like, look at this keepsak I got from the beach. Mom.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Like you get one every year you go back and see how your penis changes.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Oh my god. Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Sidebar. If you ever go to Iceland, there is a penis museum there, and it's actually amazing. You should go.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

There's a sex museum in Amsterdam that was also really super cool, too. There you go. The more you know, guys. Yeah, the history of sex.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

So some other signs that you're overwatering your life might be you're exhausted from things that you love. You are fixing problems that nobody asked you to fix. You check on things that were already handled, and you feel responsible for everybody's emotions. I think this applies to having children a lot too. Oh, for sure. Are we overwatering our children?

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Are you you actually were instrumental in helping me reframe a lot with Emmy and Graham, specifically Graham last year, where you know, I just remember you saying, you have to let him fail. And I was like, such an interesting concept because yes, and also it feels abnormal to let 100% your kids like knowingly be like, you're gonna fail. But you're not like going out saying that, you're doing it more internally. But like even with Emmeline this year, there's been certain things where I'm like, you're gonna have to figure this out and it's not gonna be enjoyable. Right. I can do what I can, right? You know, so that's another interesting part of parenting, I think, too, is just letting the fail happen, which is allowing the balance to be put back.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Right, and in a place that I still struggle with it is, and I was really working on this this week when we were traveling, and this really comes from being a single mom and having to make sure that I was all the things all the time, right? There was no space for me to not be all of the things, and so I always over-prepared. That's one of my overwatering is being over-prepared. And I will do it too, like when we travel and like making sure we have enough snacks and a backup snack and a this and a that, and do we have this? And what if this happens? And traveling with all of the things, and while it's great to be prepared, it's also exhausting. So I try to let myself still be prepared, but not quite as much in Disney. And I'll tell you what happened. Everything worked out fine, except we spent four times as much money as we normally would. That's the reality of it. And I'm like, oh, this is why I do this. Like, this could have been so much cheaper if I had been overwatering two weeks ago. It's fine, it's fine, everything's fine.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Everything's fine. I know. Disney is one of those places you're like, this doesn't feel magical or happy.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

I it was the complete opposite. We actually had a most magical time. Like well, I yes, but I mean there were no parents flipping out on their children. It was great, like everybody was so great. I was like, this is the best Disney trip we've ever had, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Because Disney can be wow, it's certainly overstimulating, you know. I am really shocked at the number of people that bring really small children. Like we didn't take Evie till she turned five. And I remember going for my fifth birthday and remembering it, and I wanted her to remember it. Now, I guess if you live down there and you have like a season pass and it's cheaper or whatever, that's different. Or you're one of those Disney. Yeah, Disney fan. And we've been three times now since she was five. Yeah. It's been better each time, but also she's older and it's you know, it's fun.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Every I mean, it's so big too that you can like chunk it up and you there's always something to see that's new. Right. It's kind of like New York.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

She's an adrenaline junkie. Every time she goes, she asks specifically, can I be in the front of the roller coaster? And she is hands up, front of the roller coaster. Let's fuck it go.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Yeah. I love it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

So, Rachel, what would be some recommendations if people do find themselves in this space of overwatering to kind of take a step back?

SPEAKER_01 17:09

I think self-analyzation is like key, right? Like being able to be self-aware and look at how this applies in your life. And then in order to make change, that's probably the first step. And then you just have to figure out what do you want to see differently? Whether it's you don't want to work as much, you want to be out of a toxic environment. Like, what are the changes that you have to make? And then allowing for rest, allowing for again for integration, like coming back to like, okay, you've put changes in place. Now allow them to take the form they're gonna take, because this isn't work that is going to necessarily be instantaneous. And it could be like starting a new hobby, it could be going back to something that you used to enjoy that you haven't done in a long time. There's just so many examples of what this could look like, and also doing the things that, you know, bring you back to homeostasis.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

Yeah, good one. Yeah. And I think part of that is first asking yourself, is it even yours to water? The problem? Yep. Is it even yours to water? Is it your plant to water? Is it your turn to water? Right. And what would your life look like if you were able to scale that back 10%? You know, what kind of effect would it have?

SPEAKER_01 18:28

I love that we're using plants as the example because there's like so many different species of plants, and there's, you know, chemical makeups of different soils and how they grow, different amounts of light and what you need, the water you use. Like there are a lot of details that go into maintaining different types of plants.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Like if you're a Venus flytrap, you know, like I want to have carnivorous plants.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

They so carnivorous plants. I have a girlfriend that I did my one business class with, and she's a botanist. And so she has like all different types of plants, and carnivorous plants are like her jam. And it was always fun talking to her because like she has such a passion for it, and there's a lot actually of carnivorous plants, not just, I mean, the most famous.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

You know that one, yeah. They have them at Trader Joe's right now.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

If you want to be in a sply shop, I have never been successful keeping those alive. I've never had one.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

I've never tried.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

We got one for Graham once because he was like real into them. But yeah, I just think about how you apply those different techniques then to your own life. Like, what is the composition of soil that you want to flourish and grow in? You know, what type of plant are you? Like, what's your symbolic representation? You know, I love that so much.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

I think, you know, too, if you're in that space where you're constantly asking the universe for the answers, or you're constantly trying to like manifest or over-manifest, or you know, oh, what do I do? Like, I think a lot of people do this with love, especially when they're single. Right. And they're like, when am I gonna find that person? Like, when am I gonna like the universe is saying, girl, I already gave you the answer.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Like, well, trusting the process. I already gave you the answer. Stop watering it so much. Yep. Trusting the process, I think, can be a challenge because we are groomed to want instant satisfaction and like instant gratification, especially if we feel that like we've done the work, you know, like maybe someone's looking for a relationship, so they focused on themselves for the last year. They're like, where is he? And then they're not, it's not happening. They're like, what the heck? So I think it's just trusting the process and knowing that, like, when you trust the process, it does, it works out.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

It's like, yeah, you can proofread your work, just don't rewrite it four times.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Yeah. Just let it play out. I mean, that goes back to the book club that we're starting here and the first book that's on it, the Midnight Library, little plug here for the book club. But that's how that plays out, right? Like that, you know, without giving too much away, it's like coulda, shoulda, woulda, like what would have happened? And you know, and I think it's not wasted energy to like think about those things, but at the same time, you've said this before. You just said it in the podcast episode that we just released that even though you had a lot of hard experiences in your inner child and in your 20s, you wouldn't change a thing to be right here where you are now. So, like you have to trust the process, you have to know that life is happening for you, not to you. And that is your control in making a choice. Because when it all comes down to it, it's mindset. If your mindset is I'm a victim, everything's happening to me, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, you're gonna continue to be in that loop.

SPEAKER_00 21:59

100%. You're going to continue.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

But you'll just stay in that loop.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Yeah. And you'll continue to perpetually blame other people. No way. Instead of stepping into your own power, you have the power to decide what your life is going to be like today, tomorrow, and the next day. Yep. That doesn't mean that there are not going to be circumstances that are not that are out of your control. There certainly will. Always. But it's how you handle those circumstances. Correct. That are going to dictate what comes next.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Correct. A thousand percent. And don't be surprised if you keep getting dealt a shit card because you keep having the same shit response.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Yep. And sometimes maybe you did have some growth, but you don't have all the growth. Then the cycle repeats in a slightly different way. And you're like, well, now I've learned lighter and softer and all the things.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

I mean, we talk about that all the time where we're like, we thought we were done with this. Why are we revisiting this again?

SPEAKER_00 22:58

This will come back to you 20 years from now, and you're gonna be like, fuck. It's just the it's just life, and it's okay. It's supposed to be that way.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

I will say on this whole overwatering, underwatering, life is we are a plant in this particular episode. The power of water, too, and the quality of water that you give your plant, aka yourself, is really important as well. So if you're doing tap water that's full of chemicals that you're not monitoring what's in it, don't be surprised to feel like shit. Whereas if you drink good water, my whole point in this is oh yeah. Evie, have you drinking your water? Need to do some more.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

Thanks, Rachel.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Buying her a camelback.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

My god. Camelback of the day. Evie was in uh seeing the doctor last week. She's really struggling and she was dealing with uh chronic dehydration. She's in a pool so much, I think she just doesn't realize that she's sweating. She's not drinking enough water, even though she has 85 Stanley's. And we're we're like, hey, have you drank water? No, you know you're dehydrated, right? Yeah. Did you drink water? Nah. She is underwatering.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

So I said we were gonna get her a camelback. Or, well, my first idea was back in the 90s was a hard hat that you would put two cans of beer in and it was jar. Yeah, that's not a beer ball.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

I know it's not a beer bong.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

I'm like, you keep saying that, and I'm like, that's not what a beer bong is.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

It's not a beer bong, but it's a beer uh accessibility.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Accessibility hat. I don't think it has a name. Does it have a name?

SPEAKER_00 24:52

It's gotta have a name. It's a beer accoutrement.

unknown 24:56

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

No, there's a name. There's gotta be a name if you guys know the name. It's called Evie's Drinking Hat. Evie's Drinking Hat. Evie's water. She just walked off the set of a YFCA music video with her water bottles. Yes. All right, I think we can wrap this up. We need struggle and boredom and independence in our life. And just like plants need to have struggle and have time and space, they can't be overcrowded, they can't be overwatered, they need to fight for that sunlight, right? If you've ever seen a seed coming up through the soil, it's a part of the process. And if you overwater that seed before it ever gets to sprout, it just gets washed away. And it's the same thing when you have grand ideas, when you have any sort of plan for your life at all. Just take it day by day and allow yourself to be in the moment of struggle because it will lead you exactly where you're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

I do want to end this by just thinking about like if you've been overworking or you've been over-exercising or you've been overeating or you've been over doing spiritual meditations or at modalities, what are you not addressing? A hundred percent. What are you what are you ignoring and why?

SPEAKER_00 26:25

Right, because you're putting all your energy into this other thing here.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Because what will happen is you will get more time back. Jeff and I were actually talking about this because he took a job in April that gave him more time with us. And we thought it was just gonna be an easy integration, and it was not. It was great when you could fill that time with coaching, because that's that one of the other perks of why he did it because he loves coaching so much. But when he wasn't coaching, it was just downtime. I would just be like, I guess he just needs downtime. And it was like me going about my routine because that's my routine, so I'd be boobity. Now we would do things like go get this kid or whatever. And but like when we were in the house.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

I have this is common. I have a couple of photography clients who are NFL players, and they've talked about the same thing. Like during the off season, they really struggle to get back into an integration with their family, yeah, where they're there, you know, all the time with the kids and the family. Yes, it definitely is a thing.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

It is, and so it was interesting when it happened because Jeff's like, I think I just have to go back to work. And I was like, or we can figure this out now that we've identified that you're not happy with your downtime because it doesn't feel meaningful and it doesn't feel like you're doing something for the family or whatever. But at least we identified it. Cause there, I mean, we for probably the first four or five months, it was just like, you know, and then it was, you know, we would get into arguments about it. So it wasn't, it was an easy identification, but now we're still trying to figure out like what that looks like and feels like and how to like work on it.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

I think, and we're gonna continue to go through this if you have children when your kids leave and go to college or go off on their own, whatever they're gonna do. And now you're found, you know, you have your own time, especially if your kids are involved in extracurricular activities. Yes. I've definitely thought ahead to that, and I'm like, oh my god, what am I gonna fill my time with? Yeah, well, I mean, we'll be talking about it because the podcast will still be around in 20 years.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

That's right. All right, guys. You heard it here first. We're gonna have the longest running podcast ever.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Just wait until we're 105 coming at you.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

Oh my god, we're gonna be cinnamon's age. Oh, poor cinnamon. We realize that Kristen's hedgehog is very, very geriatric.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

112. Very, very old, guys. Sure, sweet little lady. All right, guys. Thank you guys for being here. The reason that you see us the amount that you do is because we don't want to overwater you with anything, whether that is our podcasts or socials or our Patreon. We are trying to find the perfect mix of all of it, and we're so thankful that you're here supporting us.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Yes, we are.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

Always open to suggestions if you want to email us at two mysticmamas at gmail.com T W O.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

All right, we do. We love you. We'll see you next time.